Archive for April, 2010
A great story to share
Most likely many of you who read my blog also read that of my Pastor and friend, Eugene Cho. Seeing as compassion has been on my mind lately, and that this story breaks my heart, watch the story of little Connor and be moved to act in love for those around you.
surrounded by CM people
Yesterday, I spent most of the day with other Covenant Children’s Pastors & Directors, and also had the chance to share a bit of my story with seniors at SPU in a Children’s Ministry class in the afternoon. I hoped to be so inspiring in class that they would all decide to be full-time Children’s Pastors. In my dreams. Alas, I did meet one young lady who was interested in a possible internship with Global Village.
My favorite part about the day was being surrounded by like-minded people. Men and women (MOSTLY women- WHY I ask?) who love kids and love Jesus and have had the opportunity to combine their loves as their profession. I was on an emotional roller coaster…one minute I felt so overwhelmed by the great tasks we have of equipping & motivating parents to become primary spiritual mentors to their kids, while still providing the best children’s ministry we possibly can- though it seems we can never measure up to Disney, Hannah Montana, Star Wars and the likes in the eyes of a child. Such a daunting task! The next minute I felt like even if I spend my entire life time working toward this cause, I will never fully satisfy what I feel God has placed me on the earth to do!
So we are back to the themes of patience and wisdom today. Pray for Patience that God would allow me to rest in knowing that I am capable of doing the best I can with the moments He gives me each day to do His work (for myself, my family, and others). And pray for Wisdom that I would CHOOSE to do the right things with the time I have been given. This leads me to need prayers for Discernment that I would hear the right voices, or the right Voice rather, directing me and leading me where I should go.
Isaiah 30:21
21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
when sympathy isn’t enough
I’ve been wrestling again. I’m not sure which is more exhausting the battling thoughts in my head, or the constant teaching and training required by my 1 1/2 & 3 year olds. A friend said to me the other day, “I can’t get through a single day without praying for wisdom and patience” [parenting was the reference]. Well, I have been praying for patience, but wisdom had slipped my mind. Without wisdom, I have decided that patience is meaningless. What I lack in mental, physical and emotional strength can not be made up simply by being more patient with my children. The patience must be directed toward meaningful engagement of my children when they are fighting over toys, pushing boundaries and demonstrating independence and a very strong will. But that’s not what I really wanted to blog about.
I’ve blogged before about tragedy surrounding me, but never hitting really close to home. I see pain in people around me, and I hurt for them, but there are just some experiences I cannot relate to or empathize with. When I learned of a young woman I work with losing her young mother to a sudden brain aneurysm, I was shocked, saddened and wanted to grieve with her. But I could not empathize that pain. As I visit my little friend with a brain tumor and watch him recover from chemo treatments, crying out in discomfort, or watch his very pregnant mother tenderly cradle her son with clear exhaustion from all the tremendous efforts needed to be taken in a day- my heart and mind reel with sadness & sympathy, but again- no empathy.
I want to do more than just pray, than just attempt an encouraging word. I want to travel to the depths of someone’s pain and be there with them. But at the same time, do I want their pain for my life? So what does it mean to come alongside others in their pain, but to also embrace joyfully the life I have been given. I feel as if my life lens is tainted by other’s stories. I can’t go into my sons’ bedroom without feelings of gratitude that my children are healthy, and sadness that someone’s I love is ill. Is that okay? When should I feel sadness? When should I feel joy? How can those two emotions linger side by side each day? So I continue to wrestle…
